Indonesian Paradise: Private Pool, Netflix, & Unforgettable Luxury!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive HEADFIRST into a review of… well, I'm not saying the name (SEO, remember?!), but let's just say it's a fancy-pants hotel promising the world AND a free bag of chips. And honestly? After spending a week there, I've got a whole LOT to unpack. Consider this your unvarnished, slightly-chaotic, and utterly human guide.
First Impressions & Getting There: The Grand Entrance (Slightly Less Grand in Reality)
Okay, so Google Maps said "Easy peasy," but after missing the turn three times (my fault, I admit it!), I finally pulled up. Valet parking, they promised. "Luxury!" they whispered. My beat-up Corolla felt…judged. But hey, they whisked it away, so points for that. (Car park [on-site], Car park [free of charge], Valet parking, Airport transfer, Taxi service). The lobby, a gleaming testament to Instagram aspirations, was impressive. A huge, sparkling chandelier and…wait, is that a shrine in the corner? (Shrine) A little unexpected, but hey, I dig a little local flavor. (Doorman), (Security [24-hour], CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Front desk [24-hour]) Check-in was surprisingly quick and painless, thanks to the "Contactless check-in/out" thingy. (Contactless check-in/out) Which is fantastic, because, let's be honest, nobody wants to touch anything these days.
Rooms: My Sanctuary (Mostly)`
The room! Ah, the sanctuary. Mine was a "Deluxe Whatever," which probably means "slightly bigger than a shoebox." (Non-smoking) The decor? Think minimalist chic meets "IKEA catalogue gone wild." (Kidding! Sort of.) (Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens, Additional toilet) The bed? Divine. I sunk right into it, which was much needed after the drive. Bonus points for a decent-sized window that opens. I'm a sucker for fresh air, even if it's just a tiny crack. (Window that opens) Let's also make some noise for the free Wi-Fi! (Wi-Fi [free], Internet access – wireless, Internet access – LAN, Internet) In this day and age, it's essential. I mean, how else am I going to obsessively refresh my Instagram feed?
However…a few minor grumbles. The "complimentary tea" was a sad selection of tea bags. The "mini-bar" was mostly overpriced snacks. And the "soundproofing"? Let's just say I heard my neighbor's phone conversation. (Okay okay, I was probably earwigging.) (Soundproofing) Oh, and the lack of an actual, proper kitchen? A little inconvenient. I like the idea of in-room dining. (Breakfast in room)
Cleanliness & Safety: Sanitized Sanity (Thank Goodness!)
Okay, the pandemic is still…existing. I was happy to see they were being extra-careful. (Cleanliness and safety, Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment) Hand sanitizer everywhere! Staff were masked up, and all the protocols were… there. I did spot the "room sanitization opt-out" option. Personally, I was fine with the extra precautions; it made me feel secure and comfortable, and as someone with a penchant for germaphobia, I appreciated it.
Dining & Drinking: Adventures in Eating (And Drinking!)
The breakfast buffet was a mixed bag. (Breakfast [buffet], Buffet in restaurant, Breakfast service, Breakfast takeaway service, Alternative meal arrangement) So many choices! So much…meh. The pastries were a bit stale, but the omelet station? Solid gold. (Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop) I also hit up the poolside bar and the restaurants… (Poolside bar, Restaurants, Happy hour) The cocktails were strong (always a win!), and the food at the main restaurant was excellent. (A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant) The poolside bar? Perfect for a sundowner. The happy hour was a serious mood booster (a few too many "happy hours," if I'm being honest…) The 24-hour room service was a lifesaver when the midnight munchies hit. (Room service [24-hour]) They also had bottle of water by the bed, which I always appreciate.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Dreams (Mostly Achieved!)
Oh, the spa! This is where things got really good, and then, well… a little weird. (Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor], Pool with view, Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath) The pool with a view was stunning. Serene. Instagrammable. The sauna, steam room, and spa facilities… pure bliss. I got a massage, which was heavenly (needed that after my driving adventure!). The gym was pretty well-equipped, although I mostly stuck to the pool.
But then… the body wrap. Let's just say I didn't feel like a goddess emerging, and more like a slightly sticky burrito. The fitness center was decent. But, the foot bath? I skipped that.
Accessibility & Other Bits and Bobs:
- Accessibility? This is the tricky part. (Accessibility, Wheelchair accessible, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests) It claimed to be wheelchair accessible. The lobby, yes. Some of the public spaces, yes. But the rooms? And the route to the pool? Some navigating required. Didn’t notice a whole lot of effort in this department.
- Internet: As mentioned, the Wi-Fi was good. (Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!)
- Services & Conveniences: They had a convenience store (useful for those late-night snack attacks). (Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Safety deposit boxes, Smoking area , Terrace).
- For the Kids: They had family-friendly options. (Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal).
The Quirks, The Flaws, and Why I'd (Maybe) Go Back:
Look, this place wasn't perfect. It had its quirks and imperfections. The "proposal spot" seemed a little contrived (Proposal spot). The room decorations were… well, remember minimalist chic? The essential condiments may have been a bit lacking. (Room decorations, Essential condiments).
But… I had a good time. The staff were mostly lovely. The bed was fantastic. And, let's be honest, escaping real life for a week is always a win.
The Bottom Line & My (Slightly Biased) Recommendation:
So, should YOU book it? Well, it depends. If you're looking for absolute perfection, pristine everything, and zero imperfections, maybe not. If you're after a stylish escape with great pool and spa facilities, willing to overlook minor imperfections, and open to a little adventure? Then YES. Book it.
Here's my killer pitch to get you to reserve a room:
Escape the Ordinary. Embrace the Unvarnished.
Tired of the same old routine? Yearning for a getaway that's both stylish and surprisingly personal? Then prepare to be captivated by [Hotel Name]!
Here's what you'll unearth:
- Pure Relaxation From the moment you arrive, feel the weight of the world melt away.
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is the Bandung, Schones Haus, GroRental, Netflix, Let's-Just-See-What-Happens-But-With-A-Pool-And-Netflix adventure - and I'm your, uh, slightly chaotic guide.
Day 1: Arrival, Bandung Bound, and the Existential Dread of Too Many Luggage Tags
8:00 AM - Jakarta Airport Meltdown (and the Quest for Coffee): Arrived! (Technically, "crawled out of a plane" is more accurate). The airport looked… like every airport. The sheer volume of tourists was overwhelming, even for someone accustomed to the throngs of Jakarta. The first order of business: COFFEE. Seriously, my brain doesn't function without it. Found a questionable-looking stall, took a leap of faith, and prayed the caffeine would override the sleep deprivation. It… worked, mostly.
9:30 AM - The Great Luggage Tango & Negotiating with Grab: Okay, so I may have packed like I was fleeing the country. Five suitcases? Who even needs that much stuff for a few days? (Don't judge, I’m a "just in case" packer.) The Grab driver - bless his soul - definitely looked like he'd seen better days, but he bravely crammed everything into his car. Negotiated the price. Got what I considered a steal but probably ripped him off. Oh well.
11:00 AM - The Bandung Road Trip (and the Joy of Random Street Food): The drive to Bandung. Now, Indonesian traffic is… an experience. It's a chaotic ballet of motorbikes, buses belching smoke, and the occasional rogue cow. It's also fascinating. Took a detour through the city, picked up some local snacks (martabak manis - sweet pancake - heaven!), and generally enjoyed the views.
2:00 PM - Arrival at Schones Haus! (And the Initial Pool-Induced Bliss): FINALLY, arrived at the GroRental villa. Schones Haus, they call it. The pictures looked good, but… OH MY GOD, THE POOL. It was… actual paradise. I threw off my shoes, took a running leap (slightly less graceful than planned), and plunged in. All the stress, the traffic, the luggage… melted away. Pure, unadulterated bliss. This is what life is about.
3:00 PM - Netflix and Chill (Literally): Sunbathing and Netflix! The villa had a giant TV. It was a perfect afternoon.
6:00 PM - Dinner Disaster (And the Triumph of Indomie): I attempted to be a fancy traveler, and eat some local restaurant food. Not my cup of tea. I ended up eating instant noodles (Indomie - if you know, you KNOW) with a fried egg. Sometimes, simple is best.
7:30 PM - Poolside Reflections (and the Mosquito Massacre): Sat by the pool to think. How is it that even the nicest looking places have a swarm of mosquitos just waiting to eat me alive?
Day 2: Kawah Putih and the Great Mount Tangkuban Perahu Hike! (Maybe)
8:00 AM - Coffee and Chaos: Back to the coffee shop! I tried to order something new and ended up with something the barista called "a creative blend." It tasted like burnt rubber, with a hint of sadness. Still, caffeine is caffeine, and I needed it.
10:00 AM - Kawah Putih and the Mist of Mystery: The plan was Kawah Putih, the famous crater lake. Heard so much about the colors, the landscape, the insta-worthy photos. The view was breathtaking, truly. The sulphur smell almost knocked me out.
1:00 PM - Tangkuban Perahu: Maybe? (And the Relentless Vendors): Next up, Tangkuban Perahu, the famous mountain. I made it to the base, but then… well, hiking is hard. The vendors were relentless. I spent too much time bargaining for trinkets I didn't need, and not enough time, you know, hiking. Decided to have a coffee from a local shop. The view was nice.
4:00 PM - Back to the Pool (and the Comfort of Netflix): The pool was calling my name. After a day of exploring, the only acceptable activity
6:00 PM - Cooking and Chaos: I had grand ambitions. I bought ingredients for dinner. I attempted to cook something. The results were… patchy at best.
8:30 PM - More Netflix (and the Bliss of Solitude): Another movie, more bliss. I realized I wasn't just enjoying the vacation. I was enjoying the solitude, the freedom to be alone with my thoughts, and the knowledge that no one could judge my questionable movie choices.
Day 3: Shopping, Coffee, Farewell Feels and the Unspoken Promise to Return (Eventually)
9:00 AM - Coffee, Again (and Last-Minute Souvenir Panic): I am addicted. More coffee. More browsing! Panic mode engaged. I needed souvenirs. Scored some batik scarves for my friends and family.
11:00 AM - Farewell Swim and the Existential Angst of Leaving: One last dip in the pool. It felt… bittersweet. The villa was amazing. Getting ready to leave made me sad. Another trip that wouldn’t last forever.
1:00 PM - The Journey Home (and the Promise of Planning the Next Trip): The drive to the airport. More traffic. But this time, I didn't mind so much. I was already replaying the memories. The food, the pool, the chaos. The experience. And already, I was planning the next adventure. Because life, like a good cup of coffee, is always worth the journey.
Okay, that's it. It doesn't cover every single thing, but that's the point, right? This is just a glimpse. It's messy, it's imperfect, and it's totally me. Now, excuse me while I start plotting a return trip… because I'm already missing that pool. And the Indomie. Don't judge.
Bournemouth's Royal Bath Hotel: Luxury Getaway Awaits!
So, uh… Why are we even doing this FAQ thing? Seems kinda… standard.
Okay, fine. But what are you *actually* going to cover? What’s the general topic?
Do you have any specific things you *won't* talk about? Like, any rules?
Right, right. So, let's get to it. What's something you're *really* passionate about? Something you'd happily rant about for hours?
What's your biggest pet peeve? Something that just makes you *irrationally* angry?
What’s a skill you wish you had? Something you’d love to be able to do?
If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
